Tales Of 57 States: On Opting-Out And Up In Arms

From The American Thinker:

November 20, 2010


Tales of 57 States: On Opting-out and Up in Arms

Lee Cary

As the day in November approached in the Realm of 57 States when His Obamaness would graciously pardon one random turkey so that the people might eat the rest, the Peasants' Revolt spread.



With the countdown to Turkey Day, behold, new accounts were told of how the Legionnaires of Big Sis were touching the peasants who boarded the wagons, carts and carriages that carried them throughout the land. These accounts did not pass unnoticed by the people.



It was rumored, though not confirmed, that the only traveler who looked forward to close encounters with Big Sis' Legionnaires was a Senator from the State of Potato named Lawrence "Happy Feet" Craig. He would, it was rumored, voluntarily receive multiple Claire "That's the way I like it, ah ha" McCaskill's love taps by returning repeatedly to the end of the security line, until he felt satisfied. But I digress.



Many centuries before the reign of His Obamaness, even before the 57 States came into being, whenever commoners were offended by the Ruling Class - for as the man of special words once said of the poor, we'll always have the Ruling Class among us - angry peasants were said to be "up in arms." In those days, the offended would lift high their hands, gripping pitch forks and clubs, and shake their arms as a sign of aggravation. Hence was born the term "up in arms."



Well, it came to pass during the Peasants' Revolt that surrounded the intrusions of Big Sis' Legionnaires into the otherwise forbidden regions of the travelers' junk, that "up in arms" assumed an altered meaning. It took on one customarily associated, fairly or not so, with the martial prowess of soldiers from the Land of Frogs where "up in arms" referred to one who had chosen to surrender rather than resist.



Now, on the Great Travel Day before the Turkey, many commoners planned to move throughout the Realm. Before boarding their wagons, carts or carriages, they would be given a choice between receiving McCaskill "love taps," or, stepping into a cage where a magic light stripped away their garments and left their junk exposed to the scrutiny of allegedly disinterested persons...eunuchs, perhaps. Once inside this special cage, the traveler would lift high his or her hands and become "up in arms," surrendering to intense visual scrutiny. Of course, none of the scrutinizing would ever be made public, except for some.



So it was that "up in arms," a term that once meant defiance in the 57 States, came to mean surrendering to the Ruling Class. And so it to pass that, henceforth, in books recounting the history of the Realm, those who once stood on Concord Bridge held high their arms in surrender. Those who crossed the Delaware to face the Hessians at Trenton, they, too, held high their arms in surrender when they landed at the far shore. And even the hungry ones at Valley Forge went up in arms so that they might eat the Turkey.



But there were yet a few who, on the Great Travel Day in the 2nd year of the Reign of His Obamaness, opted-out of the magic light, and without word or gesture, gave to Big Sis...a different kind of bird.

















Posted at 12:05 AM